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Thursday, January 27th, 2005

You Will Not Leave Me

Tony’s grandfather died this morning. This was quite a bit sooner than expected, but at least we managed to tell my daughter it was coming before it happened. And, for what it’s worth, it’s easier, I think, when it’s clear the person is ready and that continued existance in that condition isn’t “living” to them anymore. Then, grief can be sublimated into loving sacrifice: it hurts, but you know it was for the best.

Some years ago, when my brother died in very similar circumstances, I wrote the following song. It bubbles up to my brain every time I’m face with a loss like this:

    You Will Not Leave Me

The time has come to bid goodbye,
And I don’t know what to say,
For we both know that I don’t want you to go.
But I understand the reasons,
And I’d trade your pain for mine,
And above all else there’s one thing that I know.

You will not leave me, and I’ll never be alone,
For I’ll hear your laughter echo in the night.
Whenever I hear the breezes whisper through the trees,
I’ll hear you tell me everything’s all right.

And it’s hard to explain the way I feel
As I sit here by your side,
For I know you’ll never be apart from me.
All the love you gave me fills my heart
And made me what I am;
When I look into the mirror, it will be your face I see.

You will not leave me, and I’ll never be alone,
For I’ll hear your laughter echo in the night.
Whenever I hear the breezes whisper through the trees,
I’ll hear you tell me everything’s all right.

Sometimes at night it feels as though
You’re sitting on my bed;
I can see your face so clearly, feel your hand in mine.
You’re beside me still to comfort me
When my heart is full of fear,
And like always it’s your hand that dries my tears.

You will not leave me, and I’ll never be alone,
For I’ll hear your laughter echo in the night.
Whenever I hear the breezes whisper through the trees,
I’ll hear you tell me everything’s all right.

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