The Chaff

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Thursday, February 10th, 2005

Is this thing on?

Well, the ongoing issue with comments crashing continues. As soon as my tech support staff finishes off that tricky Evercrack issue, it might get fixed.

Anyway, back to apostateosis…or how I lost my religion in twelve easy steps.

The biggest issue I had with was the “anyone not baptised goes to hell” issue. In the Catholic catechism, the most devout, loving, Christ-like people in the world still goes to hell because they were not baptised in the Catholic church. Sold all you had and gave your money to the poor? Good job. Spent your life ministering to the lepers? Excellent. Died saving orphans from a fire? Beautiful! Uh-oh, what’s this? Born and raised in an Methodist area, never even seen a Catholic church?

Sorry. You’re damned for all eternity. Don’t say it’s not your fault, that you never had a chance to hear about Catholicism–you should have known.

I had issues with that.

The hypocracy was also a problem, but I had to get older before I understood it. It was the politics that brough it out. The first time I realized it was when a new priest came to our parish. The traditionalists in the parish didn’t care for the “newfangled, modern” approach the priest had. The ladies in the Sodality ripped him up every time two of them got together. The backbiting shocked my poor, naive little soul.

Then I noticed the backbiting elsewhere. The choir director “always favored the sopranos” and “never did real music.” Hearing this kind of talk from the backbone of the church was hard. These were supposed to be my role models! And they were some of the most un-Christian people at times. I suppose we all have our bad moments, but I never once heard any kind of remorse or regret. And, worst of all, I was raised with a “perfect or damned” philosophy: the slightest transgression just before death can offset a lifetime of goodwill, and you get sent to hell for dying with a sin on your soul.

I realized that my parents didn’t live up to their own standards. It’s taken me years to understand that no one could live up to those standards. I’m still working on the damage that’s caused me; I can only imagine the pain it must have caused (and still be causing) my parents and the other Catholics of their generation.

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