Saturday, March 19th, 2005

Butt The Hell Out

Republicans in Congress try to intervene in Terry Schiavo’s case. This is after the State of Florida passed an “emergency act” to intervene in the case.

So the “save the sanctity of marriage” people are subverting the decision of a spouse regarding his wife’s care?

The “government shouldn’t provide health care” people feel it necessary to get involved in a family medical decision?

And there are people camped outside her hospital with signs, holding protests and prayer vigils?

I have to agree with Athenae over at First Draft: Shut up and butt the hell out.

Years ago, my brother faced the prospect of a few more years of life in a hospital bed with a feeding tube, permanent IV and catheter, dialysis machine, etc. He was conscious, thank god, so he was able to clearly express his wish that all extreme measures be stopped. It was also very important to him that his loved ones understand. My parents had the dubious honor of calling the rest of the family and explaining his wishes. We supported him almost unanimously.

Almost.

My uncle claimed that “ending extreme measures” equaled suicide. If my brother didn’t consent to every painful, debilitating treatment that might keep his long-degenerating body from giving up for even a few more minutes, he was going to Hell. End of story.

Of course, my uncle lived 3000 miles away. He hadn’t seen my brother in nearly 25 years. He didn’t have to watch the diabetes destroy my brother’s organs one by one over the years. He never lay awake night after night listening to my brother cough up blood night after night from a lung infection that would never heal. He didn’t line up his other children to donate blood so their sibling could get nearly every drop of blood replaced, in the faint hope that it might give him the strength to continue on a few more months. He didn’t have to quit his job to stay home and give my brother dialysis treatments every two-three hours.

My uncle had no right to an opinion in this matter. Hell, I had no right to an opnion, as I was 1200 miles away myself and hadn’t seen my brother for the previous 2 years. The only thing I felt I had a right to say was, “God, I’m so sorry. I love you, and I will miss you.”

Fuck my uncle. And fuck these people who think they get a say in someone else’s tragedy. I don’t care who you are or what side you’re one in this “argument.”

You don’t get to have a side. You don’t have a say.
This is not your wife. Not your daughter.
Not your problem. Not your business.
You have no right. You don’t belong here.
If you have to pray for this family, do what Jesus told you, and pray in private.
Go home, and hug your spouse and your children and your parents and pray to whatever god you choose to worship that you never find yourself in this agonizing position. If you ever do, I hope you have newpapers and television cameras and protestors and prayer groups and lawyers and legislatures dogging your every step, each one telling you how horrible you are if you dare to disagree with them.

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