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Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

To All My Friends

I seem to be on somebody’s shit list. (More precisely, I’m not on the "Not on the Shit List" list, which in this particular case means the same thing.) Apparently I’m a selfish, inconsiderate jerk, an irresponsible loser, and a lousy excuse for a friend. I have been formally invited to go fuck myself by someone who never wants to see or hear from me again.

I’m not actually certain what I’ve done, mind you, but it must have been something pretty heinous to counteract years of friendship. And I don’t just mean the "hang out together and have fun" kind of friendship: I mean the "help out how you can, support your dreams and goals, defend you from unfair attacks (even when it incurred some pretty heavy personal costs), cheer you up when you need it, cry with you when nothing else works, and even slap you upside the head when you really, really deserve it" kind of friendship—and it was that kind of friendship from both sides. You don’t just toss those away because someone annoyed you, so whatever it was I did, it was clearly unforgivable.

I’ve always been blessed with wonderful friends. All of my friends, past and present, have been the kind of people you could call from jail in the middle of the night and know that they will come get you. When your boss starts treating you like shit, they’ll buy you a margarita and help you dust off your resume. When you tell them you’re moving, the first words out of their mouths are "need help?" and "where and when?"

Most of all, they’re the kind who value honesty as much as loyalty, so their not afraid to tell you, "Man, you’re out of line here—rein it in" those times when you really, really need to hear it. Never once would your being out of line or their needing to call you on it for your own good in any way jeopardize the underlying friendship. I don’t know what it would it take to make me toss that kind of friendship aside.

Oh, sure, sometimes you argue. Sometimes you fight, even viciously. Sometimes life intervenes and you drift in different directions, maybe going months without seeing each other. But it doesn’t matter, it just doesn’t. Because when the phone rings and your friend says "I need help", the correct response is "where and when?"
Because deep down you know, without a single doubt, that this would be your friend’s response if the tables were turned. Even if your last words to your friend were "Go fuck yourself" and "I never want to see you again."
This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006 at 11:54 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “To All My Friends”

  1. Leslie Says:
    March 15th, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    That was me. I am truly sorry. If you’re willing to listen, I’d like to tell you what happened. Even here, in public. I’ll wait for your response.

    By the way, I talked to Jen the other day…I hope things are going better for you now. I love you and I miss you.

    –Leslie

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